Sunday, 21 May 2017

They Have an App for That

[Media prompt] German court convicts woman for killing boyfriend with circular saw during sex. The victim was trussed up in bed and blindfolded when the woman picked up a bedside circular saw and killed him. The body lay in her bed for months until a new boyfriend helped her bury it.
They Have an App for That

On the corner near the office were half a dozen freaks, the sores addicts got from using methain festering on their shirtless torsos. One of them was taking pot shots at the giant red billboard for Pepsi towering above them, aiming for the bitch with a shit eating grin holding out a can to an African kid whose ribs looked like they about to slice through his skin. For all I knew, she was his ball busting ex, or the sister who pushed pebbles up his arse when they were young. Knowing these fucks, though, he was most likely putting in some practice. It was common knowledge on the Upper East Side that if you didn’t have the guts to take out somebody yourself, you hired someone who did to take care of business. Then again, maybe he just hated Cadelyn Karshine. Who could blame him? I had wanted to put one between her eyes from the moment she appeared in hypespace, like a maggot on a dog turd. I rolled down the window and shot him. I might hate the cow, but Pepsi was a client. I streamed the gun-cam footage back to the office. It would be good for credits at the very least, and perhaps a bonus at the end of the quarter if Mr. Lee was feeling generous.

As I rode up to the ninety-first floor, a message came in from Gracie.

“Nice shot, cowboy,” she said. “Pepsi’s thinking of naming a CO2 bubble after you.”

There was a rumour going round that Gracie Frick liked to hack up her lovers in bed during sex. Someone, I forget who, showed me a story a couple of weeks ago about the cops busting a guy for burying body parts up near Tarrytown. He claimed in court his girlfriend made him do it, and the parts he was getting rid of came from one of her former boyfriends. The guy went inside for it, but never named the woman he claimed put him up to it.

“What do you think?” the unremembered person said. “Gracie Frick or what?”

“How do people find these people?” I said.

“Haven’t you seen?” he said, pulling out his phone. “New app called Mrderer.”

My thanks to u/Rambo_Brit3, who came up with the idea of Mrderer, and to u/ZetaEtaTheta for the line, “How do people find these people?”, both in a comment thread on the original story at Reddit.

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