Monday, 15 May 2017

The Graduate

[Media prompt] Trayvon Martin receives posthumous aeronautical science degree.
The Graduate

After Darnell Williams was shot robbing a liquor store, his third armed heist before the age of eighteen, his body was laid to rest at the Memorial University of Florida’s Wall for Scholars. It was a fitting tribute to a man who had climbed hundreds of walls during his career as a cat burglar. As dictated by tradition, his family led a three-day riot that almost burned their home town to the ground, following which he was posthumously awarded a master’s degree in engineering.

At the ceremony, Darnell’s mother said, “I tell you, fellow graduates, there is no limit to what you can do. Just stay focused and put your mind to it, and you can do it.”

This was met by a rousing roar of approval, although it should be noted that several overseas Chinese students cheered not out of solidarity with their black classmates, but at what they perceived as the continuing and precipitous American decline. The Dean of Gender Engineering later stripped them of their degrees. In later years, the Chinese government assigned two of them to oversee China’s second Moon base, now earning the country trillions of dollars per month.  

Although by a different father, Darnell had a younger brother. Where the elder boy had been a gregarious high achiever, the younger Jamal was an introvert who struggled with lessons. At twelve, he had raped and cut the throat of his white substitute teacher after she asked him to answer a question in class. Jamal’s lawyer had won over the all-white jury by invoking the rallying cry of the disenfranchised: “Fuck the Whites!” Jamal returned to school a hero, which his psychologist would later identify as the turning point in his life.

Involved in half a dozen drive-by shootings in his mid-teens, Jamal entered his twenties selling crack and dealing in second-hand sex bots. But like many of his contemporaries, he preferred real women. One night, high and feeling bored, he live-streamed his torture and rape of a disabled white girl on Facebook. The event itself barely registered with the law, but his mother told him to move out and find a job.  

Enraged, Jamal took the degree from his dead brother’s desk and secured a position as the senior project manager/head engineer on the new bridge from Miami to Havana. When the entire structure collapsed in 2046, Jamal’s mother wailed that the white man was to blame.

“If only white men didn’t exist,” she sobbed at the trial to determine culpability.

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